


Pumpkins, Corn, and Caffeine

by AdrianaintheSnow



Series: Labeled [21]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, pumpkin patch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23805778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: Remy steals Virgil to take him to a pumpkin patch.This was the result of my 10th Roll the Dice Fic Special. The Roll the Dice event is where I do random ships, universes, and genres for the Sanders Sides fandom. This special one allowed people to send me prompts on my tumblr from already established universes or pick out combos from my Roll the Dice Playsheet and then I used a random number generator to pick the one I did. The prompt I rolled was Labeled Universe, Remy & Virgil with the word “overcome.”
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Background Logicality
Series: Labeled [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616662
Comments: 70
Kudos: 440





	Pumpkins, Corn, and Caffeine

“Sup,” Remy said, shoving right past Logan into his house. “I’m stealing your kid.”

The sputtering that came immediately made Remy want to laugh, but he resisted, keeping his face as serious as possible.

“Hey, Baby Shadow,” Remy called into the house without acknowledging the look Logan was shooting him. “Where’re you at?”

“Remy?” Virgil asked coming from Patton’s kitchen. Missy came running between his legs, almost tripping him. Remy reached down to sweep her up in his arms. “Hello, Little Monster,” he said, ruffling the fur on her head to happy barking before putting her down.

“I’m stealing you for the day, Virgil.”

“Uh… cool?” Virgil said. “Why?”

“I want to go through the corn maze at the pumpkin patch, so I need a kid to not look weird.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Logan asked.

Nope.” Remy handed him a $50 dollar bill which he took on instinct and then gawked at. “Patton’s gonna get off in half an hour. Take you hubby out to a fancy dinner, my treat.”

“What? Remy, I am not selling you Virgil for $50.”

“That’s not for Virgil.” Remy said, rolling his eyes.

“Then what…”

“Logan, I’d pay you $500 dollars if it could stop Patton from complaining to me about your lack of a sex life.”

Logan chocked on air.

“Oh my god! I’m getting my coat!” Virgil said, spinning on his heels and racing up the steps to his bedroom.

Logan slapped him on the shoulder and Remy rolled his eyes.

“Did he really…?” Logan asked after a moment.

“Not in so many words,” Remy told him.

“I’m not taking the $50, Remy,” he said trying to hand it back.

“It’s a birthday present.”

“My birthday is in January,” Logan said.

“Christmas present then.”

“How does that correct the problem? You should say Halloween present as that is the closest holiday, though traditionally people do not give gifts of money or anything other than candy really during that holiday.”

Remy rolled his eyes so hard he almost got a headache.

“Use it to feed Virgil today,” Logan changed tactics.

“Ugh, fine,” Remy agreed and stuck it back in his billfold. “But you better take Patty Cake to a properly fancy restaurant. I don’t want to hear any complaints about fish pizza on Monday.”

“I will get him pasta,” Logan said.

“Look at you, using that big brain of yours,” Remy cooed pinching his cheek and getting a sharp slap to the wrist in response.

Virgil came down the steps then in one of his customary black hoodies. “Is this warm enough?” he asked.

“Should be,” Remy told him. “and there’s always a bonfire we can stand around at the pumpkin patch if we get cold in the cold maze.”

“Cool,” Virgil said.

Remy grabbed his arm and started to pull him out of the house. “I’ll have him back after 9, but no later than 10,” Remy told Logan with a smirk. “Set an alarm.”

He got a superpower charged slap to the back of his head, but it was worth it.

“At least taste it,” Remy tempted, shaking his drink at Virgil.

“Over my dead body,” Virgil said sipping at his own motor oil flavored coffee. “because it probably would, actually kill me.”

“You’re 16,” Remy said. “You’d live.”

“Have you ever calculated how much sugar is in that?” Virgil asked.

“I’d rather live in oblivion,” Remy answered with a shrug.

Virgil just smiled and turned to look out of the window. They were about 25 minutes out of the city with 15 to go and were surrounded by corn fields. “What exactly is a corn maze?” Virgil asked.

“Farmers sometimes make mazes out of their corn fields so people can try to get through them.” He reached up to the sun visor and grabbed the pamphlet he’d stored up there. He tossed it at Virgil. “This pumpkin patch has one every year. This year it’s in the design of a skeleton family and the baby skeleton is holding a pumpkin. There are usually 12 different locations you have to find and then you get a free apple cider and a desert of your choice. I suggest the apple cider donuts.”

“Apple cider donuts?” he asked with a curious head tilt.

“Mmm. I’ll buy you one even if we don’t win the prize,” Remy promised. “We will though. I’m great at corn mazes. I’ve been doing this place’s corn maze every year since I was 3. Farmer Dale is a tricky bastard -don’t tell Patton I said that-, but I will not be defeated.”

Virgil laughed softly and turned back to the pamphlet. “What’s the tire tower?” he asked.

“They used old tractor tires to make a play place. It’s mostly for little kids, but we can still check it out,” Remy said. “We’ll definitely go on the hayrack ride and watch the Talking Chicken show. It’s stupid but can be funny.”

“There’s a selfie scavenger hunt,” Virgil told him.

“That must be a new one. We can do it if it looks fun.”

“One of the pictures has to be taken in the corn maze so we might as well do that one.”

“Sure kid,” he said with a smile. “What other pictures would we need?”

“Um, one with the 600-pound pumpkin. A 600-pound pumpkin?!” he asked, his eyes wide.

“Boo, it’s small this year,” Remy said, biting back a smile at the shock on his face.

“Er. One on the hayrack ride, one with food from the corn café.”

“Ah the corn café: full of wonderful food such as corndogs, donuts, and chili cheese fries.”

“Mmm,” Virgil said. “Corndogs are god’s gift to man.”

“See kid, this is why we get along so well,” Remy said, reaching over to punch him softly on the shoulder.

He got a cute little nose scrunching smile in return. “Who’s Dolly the Crow Puncher?”

Remy laughed. “It’s a statue of a woman punching a crow out of midair. There’s a whole weird as hell story about her being a scarecrow who came to life or whatever. You’ll hear about it in the Talking Chicken show, I’m sure. I used to be terrified of her when I was a kid. Mom would have to cover my eyes to get us through the front entrance.”

Virgil laughed a bit. “You’ve been going here a long time, huh.”

“Every year, except when it was closed down that one year after the Onslaught. It’s always been a thing in my family.”

The clever bugger, of course, narrowed right in on that statement. “It’s a family thing?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Remy replied.

“So, um, why are you taking me?” Virgil asked.

Remy glanced at him real quick before turning his eyes back to the road. Well, it had kind of been the point of this excursion, hadn’t it? ‘Course Remy was a coward who’d wanted to bring it up on their way home right before dumping him into Pat’s arms, but he guessed the universe was telling him to do it now. “So, you know how Logan’s prepared for, like, fucking everything right,” he hedged.

“…Yeah?”

“So, like, your adoption papers are about to go through, right? And sure, you’re 16 already, but they wanted to make sure there was stuff in place just in case because, you know, they’re overprotective worrywarts and stuff and you were in the system for so long and they don’t want that to happen again. So yeah, they, um, asked me to be your godfather.”

“Oh.”

“I wanted to ask if that was okay with you before I told them yes.”

“Huh, I’ve never had a regular father before let alone a godfather,” Virgil mused. Well, at least he didn’t seem upset by the concept.

“It’s alright?” Remy asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil answered. “I think it is.” He sat back in his seat. “Two adoptive fathers and a godfather in one go, huh?”

Remy smiled and patted him on the shoulder briefly.

“Anyway, what are we going to do first?” Virgil asked.

“I’d say we eat lunch first and then go through the corn maze. After that, we can grab dessert and watch the Chicken Show and then go see the rest of the pumpkin patch.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said with a smile.

The corn dogs Remy had bought him had been some of the best Virgil had ever had, much better than the ones at school. He’d also never had apple cider before and had expected it to taste like apple juice, but it was so much better. He honestly could have been content with their day ending there, but Remy cheerfully dragged him over to get tickets for the corn maze.

The man sitting near the entrance to the corn maze was wearing a straw hat with a paper pumpkin taped to it. He smiled wide when he saw Remy. “Remy!” he said. “How’s it going?”

“It’s been alright, Dale. How’re you?”

“Oh, perfectly fine, perfectly fine. It’s the best time of year for me, you know. We’ve got a real tough one for you this year,” the farmer said. “Got a couple of families lost in the pumpkin that had to call us to get them out. We’ve gotten to the point where we’re giving out the free cider and desert to people who get 10 of the 12 markers.”

“Is that a challenge?” Remy asked, eyes narrowed.

“It’s is,” the old man replied, smiling a wide smile.

“Well then, it is a challenge me and pipsqueak over here will overcome!” he said giving Virgil a side hug. “Just you watch us!”

It was hours later when Virgil finally snapped. “I thought you said you were good at this!”

“I am,” Remy defended himself. “You just don’t understand my method.”

“Your method has gotten us completely lost,” Virgil spat. “We’ve been in here for three hours. Give me that map.” He snatched it from him and snapped it open, glaring at Remy. They’d only found 9 out of the 12 markers and Virgil was pretty sure Remy wouldn’t even be able to get them out of the cornfield by this point.

“Getting lost for three hours is half the fun.” Virgil smacked him in the face with the map and then peered at it.

“This way, old man,” Virgil groused, pulling him along. “I’m hungry and I want a free donut.”

Remy chucked and bumped up against Virgil’s shoulder. Despite his agitation, Virgil felt a fond smile form on his face.

They managed to find two more of the markers rather quickly and got a moon and an infinity sign hole punch on their cards.

“Now we just need to find the pumpkin stem,” Virgil said, biting his tongue. “I think we’re in the kid’s hand?”

Remy squinted at the map under his shoulder. “This was the last marker we found,” he said, “and we went down her arm like this and turned left. I think we’re in her thumb.”

“Hm. I think you’re right. So, we’ll have to go all the way down her hand to the pinkie and then up the pumpkin to the stem.”

“Or,” Remy said, “We could just cut across.” He drew a line from the tip of the thumb to the stem.

Virgil narrowed his. “I’m pretty sure people aren’t supposed to do that.”

“They’re also not supposed to break into banks, but some people have done that,” Remy reminded with a cheeky smile.

“Don’t you want to win this the right way and prove you’re actually good at corn mazes?”

“Hmmm,” Remy contemplated it. “Nah.” He ducked under the rope nearby into the rows of corn.”

“Remy,” Virgil hissed as he started to pick his way through the corn. “You’re going to get yourself lost.”

“Nah, I’m going to find myself in the world of corn.”

“What does that even mean?!” Virgil hissed. He sighed and looked down the path. No one else was there. “Why am I the adult in this situation?” he groused as he followed Remy under the rope and through the corn. It wasn’t hard to follow Remy because he made a lot of noise while crunching through the corn and cursing quietly every few steps. They stumbled out in a clearing together after a minute or two.

“Wow, that was a bad idea,” Remy said spitting some type of plant matter out of his mouth.

“I could have told you that before you did it,” Virgil said. “I don’t even know where we are now.”

Remy shrugged. “Trust the process!”

“Your process sucks.”

“This way!” Remy said pulling on him.

They ended up wondering around for another 20 minutes before they finally found the last marker. “See! We made it!” Remy said.

“It would have taken less time to go around the right way,” Virgil hissed.

“You don’t know that.”

Virgil just rolled his eyes and punched a little snowman into his card. He snapped a selfie of himself with Remy in the background trying to get corn husks off his pants. “You’re letting me get us out of here,” he told the man.

“Fine, fine,” Remy conceded. “But don’t blame me when we get lost.”

“We won’t get lost.”

“If you manage to take less than half an hour to get us out of here, I’ll buy you another one of your gross coffees on our way home.”

“Remy it’s 5pm. It’ll be at least 7 by the time we’re driving back to the city.”

“Come on you know you want it.”

“Fine.”

They were out of the corn maze in 20 minutes.

“Yeah, yeah, get the smug look off your face kid,” Remy grumbled while turning in the tickets for apple cider and apple cider donuts.

They ate the donuts while watching the Talking Chicken show and Virgil snapped another selfie with Remy’s face smashed up against his holding up the already half eaten donut and with weird puppet chickens in the background.

After that, they went on the hay rack ride through the pumpkin patch. Virgil took a picture of himself laying on one of the hay bales and then complained loudly about getting hay in his shirt the rest of the time.

They then went to go see and take pictures with some of the other attractions like the huge pumpkin, Dolly (Remy pretended to be terrified of her in the picture which made Virgil laugh until he ached every time he looked at it), and the Tire Tower.

“We got all of the pictures,” Virgil said proudly, waving his phone.

“Nice kid,” Remy said. “It says you get a free pumpkin for that.”

They showed Dale all of the pictures and Dale took him to the buckets of little pumpkins to choose from. He picked a slightly lopsided one about the size of his hand and thanked Dale.

They left the pumpkin patch a little before it closed at 8 and Remy bought them sandwiches and coffee on the way home. It had been a great day, Virgil decided when they pulled into Logan and Patton’s driveway.

Remy returned Patton and Logan’s son with a baby pumpkin, a hoodie full of corn and straw, and a caffeine high at 9:15pm. He’d never been prouder of himself.


End file.
